Identify Domestic Violence
Abuse and violence in a relationship can build over time, or it can happen in an instant.
There are many different types of domestic violence. Coercive controlling violence is defined as, “a pattern of behaviour used by one person to gain and maintain power and control over another.” It may be physical, but physical force is often not the first form of abuse that an abuser will use.
Abuse or violence may not be immediately apparent to others outside the abusive relationship.
Approximately every six days, a woman in Canada is killed by her intimate partner.
(Source: Canadian Women’s Foundation.)
People of all gender expressions experience domestic violence. However, there are important differences between male violence against women and female violence against men, namely the amount, severity and impact. Women experience higher rates of repeated victimization and are much more likely to be seriously hurt (Walby & Towers, 2017; Walby & Allen, 2004) or killed than male victims of domestic abuse (ONS, 2019). Further to that, women are more likely to experience higher levels of fear and are more likely to be subjected to coercive and controlling behaviours (Dobash & Dobash, 2004; Hester, 2013; Myhill, 2015; Myhill, 2017). (Source: Women’s Aid Foundation.)
The United Nations defines gender-based violence in the following way:
“The definition of discrimination includes gender-based violence, that is, violence that is directed against a woman because she is a woman or that affects women disproportionately. It includes acts that inflict physical, mental or sexual harm or suffering, threats of such acts, coercion and other deprivations of liberty.” (CEDAW 1992: para. 6).
Abuse
There are many signs that may indicate someone is experiencing abuse.
Some examples include:
-
Unusually sad, lonely, fearful, exhausted
-
Difficulty concentrating
-
Fearful of leaving work
-
Upsetting or frequent phone calls
-
Uses alcohol or drugs to cope
-
Isolating oneself/withdrawn/avoiding social interaction
-
Regularly late for work
-
Anxiety
-
Physical abuse; unexplained bruising
-
Sexual assault/rape
Abuser
There are also many signs that may indicate someone is abusive.
Some examples include:
-
Disregard for the welfare of children
-
Physically harming family pets
-
Emotional, psychological and verbal abuse
-
Increased hostility toward other friends or family
-
Withdrawal of emotional or financial support
-
Confinement: attempts to control or cut off friendships or family ties
Stalking
Stalking (criminal harassment) is when a person repeatedly watches, follows or harasses another, making them feel afraid or unsafe.
Some examples include:
-
Appears at home or place of work unannounced or uninvited
-
Sends unwanted text messages, letters, emails and voicemails
-
Leaves unwanted items, gifts or flowers
-
Constantly calls and hangs up
-
Uses social networking sites and technology to track the victim’s vehicle
-
Spreads rumours about the victim via the internet or word of mouth
-
Calls employers or professors
-
Waits at places in which the victim hangs out
-
Uses other people as resources to investigate the victim. For example, looking at the victim’s Facebook page through someone else’s page or befriending the victim’s friends in order to get more information
-
Damages the victim’s home, car or other property
Approximately every six days, a woman in Canada is killed by her intimate partner.
(Source: Canadian Women’s Foundation.)
People of all gender expressions experience domestic violence. However, there are important differences between male violence against women and female violence against men, namely the amount, severity and impact. Women experience higher rates of repeated victimization and are much more likely to be seriously hurt (Walby & Towers, 2017; Walby & Allen, 2004) or killed than male victims of domestic abuse (ONS, 2019). Further to that, women are more likely to experience higher levels of fear and are more likely to be subjected to coercive and controlling behaviours (Dobash & Dobash, 2004; Hester, 2013; Myhill, 2015; Myhill, 2017). (Source: Women’s Aid Foundation.)
The United Nations defines gender-based violence in the following way:
“The definition of discrimination includes gender-based violence, that is, violence that is directed against a woman because she is a woman or that affects women disproportionately. It includes acts that inflict physical, mental or sexual harm or suffering, threats of such acts, coercion and other deprivations of liberty.” (CEDAW 1992: para. 6).
Abuse
There are many signs that may indicate someone is experiencing abuse.
Some examples include:
-
Unusually sad, lonely, fearful, exhausted
-
Difficulty concentrating
-
Fearful of leaving work
-
Upsetting or frequent phone calls
-
Uses alcohol or drugs to cope
-
Isolating oneself/withdrawn/avoiding social interaction
-
Regularly late for work
-
Anxiety
-
Physical abuse; unexplained bruising
-
Sexual assault/rape
Abuser
There are also many signs that may indicate someone is abusive.
Some examples include:
-
Disregard for the welfare of children
-
Physically harming family pets
-
Emotional, psychological and verbal abuse
-
Increased hostility toward other friends or family
-
Withdrawal of emotional or financial support
-
Confinement; attempts to control or cut off friendships or family ties
Stalking
Stalking (criminal harassment) is when a person repeatedly watches, follows or harasses another, making them feel afraid or unsafe.
Some examples include:
-
Appears at home or place of work unannounced or uninvited
-
Sends unwanted text messages, letters, emails and voicemails
-
Leaves unwanted items, gifts or flowers
-
Constantly calls and hangs up
-
Uses social networking sites and technology to track the victim’s vehicle
-
Spreads rumours about the victim via the internet or word of mouth
-
Calls employers or professors
-
Waits at places in which the victim hangs out
-
Uses other people as resources to investigate the victim. For example, looking at the victim’s Facebook page through someone else’s page or befriending the victim’s friends in order to get more information
-
Damages the victim’s home, car or other property
Types of Abuse
Physical Abuse is the intentional infliction of pain or injury by slapping, shoving, punching, kicking, strangling, burning, stabbing, or shooting; using a weapon or other objects to threaten, hurt, or kill; or abducting a person or keeping them imprisoned.
Psychological Abuse describes living with the constant fear of threats of violence against a person, their children, friends, or relatives. It includes being harassed at work by phone calls or visits, the destruction of prized possessions, and even suicide threats by the abuser. The intent is to control the behaviour of the survivor. Threats of violence are illegal under Canada’s Criminal Code.
Coercive Control is a form of psychological abuse. It involves ongoing threats, manipulation, and emotional harm to limit someone’s freedom and control their daily life, such as tracking where they are, disapproving of social activities, or guilting them into staying home. Because the abuser often appears positive to others, coercive control can be difficult to recognize or prove.
Emotional Abuse is the repeated use of harmful behaviours by a perpetrator to control another person. It can include a never-ending experience of criticism, name-calling, and put-downs, alone or in front of others. It might include unjust blaming, false accusations about loyalties, and controlling a person’s time, activities, and actions.
Sexual Abuse is any form of unwanted sexual activity without consent. It includes being forced against one’s will to perform sexual acts with anyone, including a partner. It can include forced sexual intercourse (rape), forced pornography or prostitution, sexual harassment, or any unwanted kissing, fondling, touching, oral sex, or threats to do any of these things against a person’s will. Since 1983, sexual assault within a marriage has been illegal in Canada; it is a crime for anyone to force their spouse or partner to engage in sexual activity.
Financial Abuse occurs when one person controls all the financial resources (money, property, credit) within a relationship and uses this power as a means of control. Perpetrators may prevent their partner from getting a job, opening a bank account, or taking part in household financial decisions. A person experiencing financial abuse may appear to live comfortably but have little or no access to money or financial independence.
Identity Abuse is the use of personal characteristics (such as age, gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, disability, or other aspects of identity) to demean, manipulate, or control another person. This might include using negative stereotypes, preventing someone from connecting with their community, or threatening to reveal private information about their identity.
Cultural or Spiritual Abuse includes using a person’s religious or spiritual beliefs to manipulate, dominate, or control them. It may involve preventing someone from participating in their cultural or spiritual traditions, forcing them to participate in practices that are not their own, or ridiculing their beliefs. An abuser might distort religious texts or cultural customs to justify their control or position of power.
Verbal Abuse is the use of words or tone of voice to humiliate, confuse, insult, frighten, coerce, or control another person. It is a form of emotional and psychological abuse and may include identity, cultural, or spiritual abuse. While shouting or yelling can be verbal abuse, not all verbal abuse involves raised voices. It can include slurs, put-downs, name-calling, belittling, blaming, gaslighting, threats, or even the silent treatment.
Stalking is repeated and unwanted attention that causes someone to fear for their safety or the safety of others, a behaviour that qualifies as criminal harassment under section 264 of the Criminal Code of Canada. Stalking can include actions that make someone feel unsafe even without overt threats, such as unwanted romantic advances or threats to share private information. Examples include waiting outside a person’s home, school, or workplace; physical or electronic surveillance; property damage; or repeated unwanted communication, as further outlined in sections 372(2) and (3) of the Criminal Code.
Adapted from:
Centre for Research & Education on Violence Against Women & Children. Western University. Retrieved from http://www.vawlearningnetwork.ca/our-work/glossary/index.html
Community Initiatives Against Family Violence. Retrieved from https://ciafv.com/about-us/our-definition-of-fv/
Burczycka, M. (2016). Stalking in Canada, 2014. Statistics Canada. Retrieved from https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/85-002-x/2018001/article/54893/01-eng.htm
Physical Abuse is the intentional infliction of pain or injury by slapping, shoving, punching, kicking, strangling, burning, stabbing, or shooting; using a weapon or other objects to threaten, hurt, or kill; or abducting a person or keeping them imprisoned.
Psychological Abuse describes living with the constant fear of threats of violence against a person, their children, friends, or relatives. It includes being harassed at work by phone calls or visits, the destruction of prized possessions, and even suicide threats by the abuser. The intent is to control the behaviour of the survivor. Threats of violence are illegal under Canada’s Criminal Code.
Coercive Control is a form of psychological abuse. It involves ongoing threats, manipulation, and emotional harm to limit someone’s freedom and control their daily life, such as tracking where they are, disapproving of social activities, or guilting them into staying home. Because the abuser often appears positive to others, coercive control can be difficult to recognize or prove.
Emotional Abuse is the repeated use of harmful behaviours by a perpetrator to control another person. It can include a never-ending experience of criticism, name-calling, and put-downs, alone or in front of others. It might include unjust blaming, false accusations about loyalties, and controlling a person’s time, activities, and actions.
Sexual Abuse is any form of unwanted sexual activity without consent. It includes being forced against one’s will to perform sexual acts with anyone, including a partner. It can include forced sexual intercourse (rape), forced pornography or prostitution, sexual harassment, or any unwanted kissing, fondling, touching, oral sex, or threats to do any of these things against a person’s will. Since 1983, sexual assault within a marriage has been illegal in Canada; it is a crime for anyone to force their spouse or partner to engage in sexual activity.
Financial Abuse occurs when one person controls all the financial resources (money, property, credit) within a relationship and uses this power as a means of control. Perpetrators may prevent their partner from getting a job, opening a bank account, or taking part in household financial decisions. A person experiencing financial abuse may appear to live comfortably but have little or no access to money or financial independence.
Identity Abuse is the use of personal characteristics (such as age, gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, disability, or other aspects of identity) to demean, manipulate, or control another person. This might include using negative stereotypes, preventing someone from connecting with their community, or threatening to reveal private information about their identity.
Cultural or Spiritual Abuse includes using a person’s religious or spiritual beliefs to manipulate, dominate, or control them. It may involve preventing someone from participating in their cultural or spiritual traditions, forcing them to participate in practices that are not their own, or ridiculing their beliefs. An abuser might distort religious texts or cultural customs to justify their control or position of power.
Verbal Abuse is the use of words or tone of voice to humiliate, confuse, insult, frighten, coerce, or control another person. It is a form of emotional and psychological abuse and may include identity, cultural, or spiritual abuse. While shouting or yelling can be verbal abuse, not all verbal abuse involves raised voices. It can include slurs, put-downs, name-calling, belittling, blaming, gaslighting, threats, or even the silent treatment.
Stalking is repeated and unwanted attention that causes someone to fear for their safety or the safety of others, a behaviour that qualifies as criminal harassment under section 264 of the Criminal Code of Canada. Stalking can include actions that make someone feel unsafe even without overt threats, such as unwanted romantic advances or threats to share private information. Examples include waiting outside a person’s home, school, or workplace; physical or electronic surveillance; property damage; or repeated unwanted communication, as further outlined in sections 372(2) and (3) of the Criminal Code.
Types of Abuse
Adapted from:
Centre for Research & Education on Violence Against Women & Children. Western University. Retrieved from http://www.vawlearningnetwork.ca/our-work/glossary/index.html
Community Initiatives Against Family Violence. Retrieved from https://ciafv.com/about-us/our-definition-of-fv/
Burczycka, M. (2016). Stalking in Canada, 2014. Statistics Canada. Retrieved from https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/85-002-x/2018001/article/54893/01-eng.htm
Services We Provide
A safety plan is a personalized, practical plan that includes ways to support your safety while in a relationship, planning to leave, or after you leave.
Safety Planning
It takes tremendous courage for a survivor to disclose violence to a friend or to seek help.
Help A Friend
The abuse of older adults is a significant human rights and public health issue.
Help With Elder Abuse
